Government Worker Games

I Hope DOGE Helps Fix This

One of President Trump’s first executive orders was to bring the Government workers back to the offices. Many on the Left were upset by this. I guess they think it’s okay to pay these people to stay home and do whatever they want to.

I saw a few videos on TikTok where the video makers were talking about their experiences working for the Government which amounted to them watching their fellow workers waste time and brag about it.

And Amy Sukwan wrote about working for the census bureau and being told to work slower by her fellow workers because she was making them look bad.

Sunday Night Strip

Her experience reminded me of when I worked at the IRS in college. (Don’t hate me, I needed the money and the pay was good.) I was a Math major at the time and the IRS put notices in our building that they needed seasonal temporary workers for Tax Season.

So every night from 6 PM to 10 PM I sorted mail for them. Math came in so handy for this task! 😂 After a couple of months they gave us some sort of assessment test and moved me to the PreAudit Department. Looking back, it was probably because all of us college students were so much faster than their normal workers and they wanted us out of there. Or maybe they didn’t have as much mail coming in as it was getting late in the tax season.

At any rate, they kept me on after the season, which led to my watching more employee games.

Everything was measured. How many pieces of mail we sorted per hour. How many Schedule G’s we could get done in an hour. And later, how many tax returns we could audit in an hour.

Once I got to the PreAudit Department no one wanted to examine Schedule G’s. If you ever had to do one you’d remember why. Very long and complicated and lots of math with big numbers. But a friend and I were really good at them so the other workers gave them all to us and we’d have a contest every night to see who got the most done. He was only 16 and I was only 18 and we were processing these things 5 times faster than the permanent workers.

This was a huge problem for those permanent workers because it made them look bad. They were always telling us to slow down because we were making the average higher and then they had to work harder.

Truthfully, having those contests was the only thing that made a monotonous job fun so we didn’t listen to them. Once again I got promoted and this time it was to the full Audit Department. I think the permanent workers told their bosses to move us. And they split us up. He went to a different section of the PreAudit Department. We’ll handle the Schedule G’s ourselves! “So what if we’re slow? Who cares, it’s taxpayer money anyway.” That was the prevailing attitude.

And once again, me, the lowly college student was outperforming the permanent workers so they started sabotaging me. I could not believe that they were okay with mediocrity…I mean it’s our taxpayer dollars paying these people and they intentionally were working slow and trying to keep me from doing my job since it made their lack of performance obvious.

We had to lock up all the returns when we left for the day, and somehow mine would be lost and I’d have to spend time locating them. Of course this would lower my productivity numbers. And I had clerks to take care of files for me and they would hide them and put them at the bottom of the pile to slow me down. And take stuff out of my desk so I’d have to spend time finding my stuff.

I remember walking by carts of tax returns waiting to be processed and thinking “I wonder if anyone just throws these away to help their productivity numbers?” Years later I read in the newspaper that a few hundred workers were found to have been routinely throwing tax returns in the trash to make their productivity look better. This was at the Austin, Tx service center but I bet it has happened elsewhere…

The thing is that these workers are almost impossible to fire! Once they get through the probabion period, they have to be guilty of gross negligence to be terminated. Just being slow is not really enough to get you fired. A lot of the workers just want to do as little as possible to get by.

It is a dreary job, I get it totally. Who wants to work at a place that is taking money out of citizens’ wallets? When I worked there, I didn’t even tell anyone in my social circle where I worked. As far as they knew I was a waitress.

On the other hand, I wasn’t meeting the unwritten quota on finding guilty taxpayers. My boss told me that I wasn’t finding enough extra overlooked tax. And horror of horrors, sometimes I refunded money to taxpayers. Our job is “revenue,” she told me. “I thought it was to collect the correct tax,” I told her.

You can see why I was really popular there.

When I didn’t produce enough revenue, they started auditing me. By this time I was a permanent employee too, so they couldn’t easily fire me. And since I don’t cheat on taxes and they couldn’t find anything wrong, they audited my parents. Who also never cheated on anything in their entire lives, I’m quite sure of that. Lots of wasted audit dollars there. My parents took them to court and won. More wasted dollars.

I actually didn’t start out to write a post about the IRS per se, it’s just that so much is wrong with it!

Anyway, I just could not stand watching all the waste and the bad attitudes, so I didn’t stay on after college. By that time I’d changed my major to Art anyway. Also I was tired of having to lie about where I worked. The good news was that I had put all my witholdings into their pension fund instead of the Social Security fund, and I got to withdraw it when I left, so it was kind of like getting a severance package.

Thats not my only brush with a Federal workplace though. My Dad got me to take the Civil Service test and I worked at Kelly Air Force Base for the summer before my freshman year of college. There were about 20 of us assigned to a logistics unit.

I kid you not, my job was to write the numbers of airplane parts onto data sheets that would then be input, and afterwards the sheets would be thrown away. I have handwriting skills and do calligraphy so they thought I was perfect for the job.

In a way it was nice because a supervisor took me under his wing and put me in his office with a super nice desk and really efficient air conditioning to do this. I remember asking him why they couldn’t just use the parts lists I was using (which were typed!) and save the time and money of this task. His answer was: “That’s government for you.”

Editor note: It might be useful to check if the job is worth doing. I mean, I was doing busy work that prolonged a task, and wasted resources: my time, and the paper.

So yeah, I’m all for making Federal employees go back to work, and I’m also okay with their productivity being audited. I bet most of them don’t actually do anything work related at home. (or on the job either in many cases)

Based on what I’ve seen, many of them are lazy and just want to sit and get paid for reading, listening to music, and writing letters at their desk. These days it probably includes surfing the Internet and Porn watching. Then they complain if their co-worker actually works. Insanity.

Let’s audit all of them!

💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

I thought I was finished with this post and then I saw that President Trump has offered to pay off employees who leave with a severance package. Eight months of pay and benefits. Seems cheaper than paying them to sit at home or on the job and waste time. And easier than firing them. No matter what else you can say about him, President Trump is full of surprises.

I think we’re in for a wild ride here!

Maybe all the lazy employees got inspired by Bruno Mars. Enjoy! 💕

Lyrics

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
'Cause today, I swear, I'm not doing anything, uh

I'm gonna kick my feet up, then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't, nah
I'll be lounging on the couch, just chilling in my snuggie
Click to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle, I'm the freaking man

Oh-oh, yes, I said it (ooh-ooh)
I said it, I said it, 'cause I can (ooh-ooh)

Today, I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
'Cause today, I swear, I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all

Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, ooh
Nothing at all
Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, ooh

Tomorrow, I'll wake up, do some P90X
Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out, "This is great" (oh my god, this is great)
Yeah, I might mess around and get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry, pops, you'll just have to wait

Oh-oh, yes, I said it (ooh-ooh)
I said it, I said it, 'cause I can (ooh-ooh)

Today, I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
'Cause today, I swear, I'm not doing anything

No, I ain't gonna comb my hair (ooh-ooh)
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I'll just strut in my birthday suit (ooh-ooh)
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, today, I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
'Cause today, I swear, I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all

Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, ooh
Nothing at all
Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, ooh
Nothing at all

Songwriters: Peter Gene Hernandez / Ari Levine / Keinan Abdi Warsame / Philip Martin Lawrence Ii

The Lazy Song lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Bmg Gold Songs, Music Of Windswept, Sony Music Publishing Canada, Round Hill Songs, Thou Art The Hunger, Roc Nation Music, Music Famamanem Lp, Mars Force Music, Music Famamanem, Toy Plane Music, Bmg Firefly, Universal Music Works, Bmg Onyx Songs, Northside Independent Music Publishing, Llc, Round Hill Songs Arthouse Entertainment, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited, Roc Global, Hipgnosis Side G