An Eagle among its peers. Photo by Frank Glick. You can read about the photo here.
Not Just a Father, My Hero Dad
It has often been said that any man can be a Father, but it takes a very special Father to be a Dad.
My Dad was amazing and was always my hero.
When I was 2 years old he left to go on an assignment in Korea, and was gone for 2 years. I missed him so much that I refused to talk to anyone but my sister and that was only while we were in our room. But every man I saw who looked like him prompted me to run up to him and cry "Daddy, daddy..." My Mother was at her wit's end with a daughter who was voluntarily mute. That's the term used to describe such behavior. The day he came home I started talking again. Even then I was already "Daddy's girl."
My Father died in 2005 and I still miss him very much. When my sister and I went to fill out the paperwork for the headstone at the cemetery, they asked us what it should say, and we both immediately said "Our Hero."
This is my tribute to a true hero of our country and our family.
Poem for a Soldier
My Dad was One
Mom and Dad on Their Wedding Day
Mom and Dad met at Fort Smith, Arkansas when he went there for rehabilitation therapy for his arm that had been nearly severed in World War II. She was an Army nurse but they actually met at the Officer's Club.
It was love at first sight, so they got married a month, a week, and a day after they met. Dad had said that they would get married when they saved enough money for a honeymoon, so they had actually planned for it to happen later. But Dad was playing poker with his buddies and won $800 which in those days was more than enough to pay for a nice honeymoon, so they took that as a sign and went ahead and tied the knot. Here is a picture of them on their wedding day.
Dutiful Son
My Grandfather died when I was 10. His estate was complicated and my Grandmother was too distraught to handle it by herself so she begged my Father to ask the Army to let him move closer to help her. I am sure she had no idea what she was asking of him. He was told he would never be promoted again if he did that because the only thing close by that he could do was act as a recruiter in a small town in Southeast Kansas close to where she lived.
So we went there for the last 2 years of his Army career, and true to their word, the Army passed him over for promotion. He did not care. But my Mother was incensed and wrote the President. How dare they? This man had served in 2 wars and had a Silver Star for God's sake. How ridiculous!
Dad just said if he had to do it all over again, he would still choose to help his Mother. He was just sorry it hurt us, his family, because it meant less money. Dad never cared at all about all his awards, and truthfully, I never even knew about them until my Mother started a scrapbook about him. Dad was very humble and did not think awards define a man...he said his daily actions define him.
Once I asked him why he never talked about his war experiences or his medals and he said he had just been doing his job as a good soldier and that those things were not very important, and that he would rather we remember him as a good Father, a good husband, a good golfer, and a funny guy!
That was Dad, always humble and self-effacing.
This picture is my Dad when he was 3. What a little cutie!
Family Man
My Dad was always willing to take me anywhere at any time. Once when I was in college he drove me the 90 miles back to my dorm after a visit. We always stopped on the way for an ice cream treat as that was our favorite thing to do together...eat Blue Bell ice cream. So it took him 2 hours to get there and another hour and a half to get back home.
When he walked in the phone rang and he picked it up. On the other end of the line was my sister Mary and all she said was "Daddy will you come pick me up?" He said "ok, honey" and she hung up. My sisters and my Mother and I all sounded alike on the phone and he thought it was me. He walked out to the garden to tell my Mother he had to go back to Austin to get me and she asked why. "I don't know" he said, "but she just called and wants me to pick her up."
My Mother started laughing her head off. "That wasn't Heather..." she said, "That was Mary! She's over at the church and said she would need a ride home." Everyone had a good laugh at Dad over that incident, and of course Dad was relieved his trip would be shorter than 3 more hours.
But what always struck me about it was that he did not hesitate for one minute to say yes he would drive 3 more hours to come get me and bring me back home with no questions asked, after he had already spent 3 and a half hours in the car. That was Dad, always happy to take me where ever I needed to go.
He was 5 in this photo. Already driving!
Honest Mechanic
Besides his never ending chauffeur duties, Dad also took care of all our cars all his life. His Father owned gas stations and was a great mechanic; he passed on his knowledge to my Father. So Dad always did all the car care in our family, even when we were gone and married. I would call him and describe the problem on any car I had, and he would tell me exactly what was wrong. More than once I would tell a mechanic what he said and they would marvel at the accuracy of his assessment.
Army Intelligence
I Know, I Know, It's an Oxymoron...
Dad worked in the Intelligence area of the Army. He enlisted at 17 years old and was field commissioned in Europe when he served in the Infantry under General George Patton. He was very smart, and spoke Japanese, Korean, French, German, Spanish, Italian, and Farsi. Obviously that came in very handy to the Army, and they sent him to schools to become a Middle Eastern Specialist...which is why we lived in Europe when I was young.
Amazingly after all the stuff the Army had done to him, when asked to work for them again after his retirement, he said yes. He continued to work at Fort Sam Houston at Fourth Army Headquarters for another 20 years before he finally retired again so he could play golf full time. But at least he got to have the job on his own terms this time, and for the rest of his life Dad got to live in one city and travel the world, playing golf and enjoying a great lifestyle.
Ace
Dad had been playing golf since I was 11 and doctors told him he should not work so hard and should take some time off and get a hobby. He took to it right away, and was so good that after he retired and had time to play 5 days a week, he considered going on tour. Our family often played miniature golf and he always won. I never saw him miss a putt, ever!
One of the greatest days of his life came when he finally got his hole in one! From then on he was known as Ace by all his friends. I think he really enjoyed his Hole In One Trophy more than all those war medals combined.
The Silver Star~My Dad Had One
For Conspicuous Gallentry in Action
The Silver Star was established by President Woodrow Wilson as a "Citation Star" during World War I, and was solely a U.S. Army award, though it was presented by the War Department (U.S. Army) to members of the Navy and to U.S. Marines. (More on that can be found in the introductory pages to WWI awards.) On February 22, 1932, the date that would have been George Washington's 200th birth day, Army Chief of Staff General Douglas MacArthur revived General Washington's "Badge for Military Merit (1782)" as the Purple Heart. That same year he also successfully advocated for conversion of the "Citation Star". When his recommendation was approved by the Secretary of War, the 3/16' silver star was converted from a ribbon device" to a full-fledged MEDAL.
The Silver Star Medal was designed by Rudolf Freund of Bailey, Banks and Biddle. The ribbon design incorporated the colors of the flag, and closely resembled the medals earliest predecessor, the Certificate of Merit Medal. The reverse of the medal is blank, save for the raised text "For Gallantry in Action" beneath which is usually engraved the name of the recipient.
The gold hue of the gilt-bronze star seems at odds with the award's name, Silver Star. That title derives from the medal's World War I lineage and the 3/6" silver star, once displayed on a victory ribbon, and now prominently displayed in the center of the medal.
We estimate that the number of Silver Stars awarded World War I to present is somewhere between 100,000 and 150,000. While that number seems quite large, when compared to the more than 30 million American men and women who have served in uniform during that time period, it is obvious that the Silver Star is a rare award, bestowed on fewer than 1 in every 250 veterans of military service.
~from Heroes in Action, which also lists all the known holders of the Silver Star Medal.
The Bronze Star~My Dad Had Two
For Heroic or Meritorious Achievement of Service
The bronze "V" identifies the award as resulting from an act of combat heroism or "VALOR", thus distinguishing it from meritorious achievement awards.
~Heroes in Action
I found a letter from a Korean family to my Dad when I was cleaning out his house after he died. He saved a family from certain death by going back to rescue them after a skirmish when they had very little time to get out. Dad made the convoy wait for him and this family. They were effusive in their praise. I think it says everything about my Father that he never told me about it, or why he got his two Bronze Stars or his Silver Star either. So weird to find out after he died that he saved a whole family from death. True Hero!
The Purple Heart~My Dad Had Twenty-Three
For Being Wounded in Battle Against an Enemy
Awarded for wounds or death as result of an act of any opposing armed force, as a result of an international terrorist attack or as a result of military operaitons while serving as part of a peacekeeping force.
The oldest of our military awards, the predecessor for the Purple Heart was George Washington's "Badge of Military Merit" (1782). Washington's award was resurected in 1932 as the Purple Heart and is awarded to any person wounded in action while serving in any of our Armed Forces. It is also presented posthumously to the next of kin of personnel killed in action or who die of wounds sustained in action.
~Heroes in Action
Below is a terrible photo of the memorial box I put together of some of his medals and the corresponding ribbons above them, and his markmanship and other uniform insignia. The ribbons are worn when the occasion calls for Dress Blues. It has glass on the front so no matter where I take the photo there is glare and background protruding into the image. But you can get an idea.
Here's What My Father Said About the Middle East Wars of Aggression
My Father fought in 2 wars, World II under Patton and MacArthur, and the Korean Conflict. (As an aside, he worked directly under General MacArthur in his office in Japan as his Intelligence Officer, and knew him well. He also knew General Eisenhower, as he was known then. Since Dad was in Army Intelligence, he was in contact with all the higher level Generals.)
He was not opposed to war on moral grounds but he was opposed to wars that do not directly benefit the United States. He told me that wars should be defensive maneuvers if attacked, not offensive ones to provoke. And he also told me that if leaders of countries and politicians had to actually do the fighting instead of the poor soldiers who do, there would be many less wars.
Dad was a Middle Eastern Specialist in the Army, and he was extremely opposed to our fighting in the Middle East, calling it a ridiculous waste of our country's precious resources and one that would be of no benefit to us. I remember him telling me that invading Iraq would be one of the biggest mistakes the United States ever made, and that the same goes for Afghanistan.
And now we have another war there, and it looks very menancing for the whole world. My Father was spiritual and told me it would be Israel and the Arab world that would start World War Three, both because of the political situation there, and because it’s a spiritual battle of the highest order.
He said that it was one thing to protect ourselves (like when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor) or to help people who were attacked, like Europe, against Hitler, but it is an entirely different thing to invade foreign countries who have not attacked us. Such action always has a reaction...sometime somewhere.
And besides, we cannot afford it! We should be saving our money and our military resources by training them here at home so they can protect us and be ready if we need them to help a country who is being invaded.
Now we are once again embroiled in wars far from our shores. My Father would be livid. I’m glad he isn’t here to see it. It’s another money pit and does not help our country at all and may cause another world war. He would be so sad for our country.
Dad said: "Always ask: For whose benefit?" And I say: "Always. Follow. The. Money."
I am so lucky to be my Father's daughter and he will always be my hero.
****************************************************
My Father, the day he retired from the Army.
Poem for a Soldier Who Died Today
© A. Lawrence Vaincourt 1985, Reprinted With Permission
He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.
And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Bob has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.
He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.
He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Soldier died today.
When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.
Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?
The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.
While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.
It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.
Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?
Or would you want a Soldier--
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end.
He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.
If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A SOLDIER DIED TODAY."
❤️ BIG LOVE AND THANK YOU TO ALL VETERANS. ❤️
Beautiful tribute to an amazing father and man. 🙏❤❤❤
Among the many honors your Dad has earned, you just conferred upon him the most precious honor of all:
"My Dad, My Hero"
Bravo Zulu, Heather's Dad.
Bravo Zulu, Heather B.